Worst MotherF*ing Unf*ingbelievable Night of Poker ever.....
Tonight I had a positively mind-boggling, sense-numbing, butt-ramming, streak of truly unfuckingbelievably bad luck at the poker tables in Macau. In the span of one short hour, everything I have ever known about poker probabilities was thrown into doubt.... fuck that, it went down into the godforsaken abyss of abject despair that I am quite sure no one here has ever experienced.
So there I was, cruising along at a table of newbs, up $500 despite surviving cracked pocket kings THREE times (for a cumulative loss of about $300, twice to AQ unsuited, once to Ace garbage), when the poker gods decided it would be fun to defy all laws of probability and test the limits of what a half decent poker player can endure without swearing off the game forever. Within a span of 15 total hands, the following carnage transpired....
Flopped bottom straight, vs. piece and a flush draw short stack....All in for $200. Flush on the river. Fuck. Normal right, maybe 35% chance of losing.... Fine.
Carnage count: - $200
Pocket 10s, vs. a flopped gap straight that needed the player to have another 10.... oops, -$200
Carnage count: - $400
Pocket Rockets, three way all post-flop (J 4 6 rainbow) vs. pocket kings and a short stack. I have have <8% chance of losing this.... yet somehow I do. Instead of winning $450, I lose $300, a swing of $750!!! fuck!!!!
Carnage count: - $700
QJ top two pair, somehow ran into set of 3's, ouch, -$150
Carnage count: -$850
Pocket Jacks, against pocket Queens, somehow managed to fold, -$100
Carnage count: -$950
Hit trip miracle Jacks, somewhat poor play, but lost to higher trip jacks, -$100
Carnage count: -$1050
AQ spades all in, vs KQ unsuited, with A on the flop and two spades and a king. Once again, he has <8% chance of winning, yet somehow does, damn, -$50
Carnage count: -$1100
Finally the finale, what I thought were my savior Kings show up, 4 players call a raise for $15 each ahead of me, i'm all in for $150. Two players contemplate calling, the first one does with pocket jacks. 90% win rate in my favor right? DEALER DIDN'T GET THE MOTHERF*ING MEMO APPARENTLY!!!, set of Jacks on the turn.... -$150. What's funnier is, had he not called me, the other guy would have with his pocket 8s, also 90% win rate for me right? WRONG AGAIN! 8's would have hit a set on the flop. I would have lost either way..... WTF?! DAMN THIS GAME!!!
One hour carnage count, -$1250, effectively a $3000 swing had I won those. So, I lost with Kings four goddamn times, then lost a monster pot where i was favored by 92% to 8%, ironically to a pair of Kings... how is that for poetic injustice. And that folks, is how you go from up $500 to down $500 with overwhelming odds on your side (or so I thought....) in a measly hour of time. FUCK!
